Here’s Why You Want To Sleep Around Even If You’re Happy In Your Relationship

(Photo: Getty)

I’m sorry to say, but even the most monogamous of us tend to get bored with our sex lives after a while of hooking up with the same person, because let’s face it: monotonous sex is boring sex. And that’s why we seek out sexual novelty.

If you’ve ever dated someone for a long time, or if you’ve exclusively hooked up with the same person for a while, you already know that the sex starts to get a little boring after a while. 

This happens because the experience loses novelty, and our brains produce less and less dopamine, which makes us lose interest in sex with that person. It’s simple human psychology — our brains crave novelty!

But here’s thing — after we get bored of sex and lose interest, it comes right back if we hook up with other people. This phenomenon is called the Coolidge Effect, which got its name when U.S. President Calvin Coolidge and his wife made some observations about chickens hoeing around on a government farm.

Just for fun, here’s the story of the slutty chickens: Apparently, when Calvin Coolidge and his wife were looking around a farm, Mrs. Coolidge noticed a rooster was being a massive slut and screwing around with different chickens. 

“She asked the attendant how often that happened and was told, “Dozens of times each day.” Mrs. Coolidge said, “Tell that to the President when he comes by.” Upon being told, the President asked, “Same hen every time?” The reply was, “Oh, no, Mr. President, a different hen every time.” President: “Tell that to Mrs. Coolidge.”

So there. That’s the story of how the Coolidge Effect got its name.

Anyway, one study found that men who were exposed to the same sexual stimuli, a.k.a. the same porno, became habituated to the stimuli and became less and less aroused over time. On the other hand, men who were shown varied sexual stimuli, a.k.a. different kinds of porn, maintained higher levels of sexual arousal.

Likewise, another study found that after watching the same porno for a few days and then watching a different one, men not only came faster, but they also had a higher sperm count. From these findings, we can conclude that novelty = good sex.

“This suggest that the Coolidge Effect may have an evolutionary explanation behind it in that it might potentially increase men’s odds of reproductive success with new partners,” explains sexpert Dr. Justin Lehmiller.

That said, the Coolidge Effect plays a pretty big role in long term relationships. It mainly suggests that it’s totally normal for you to get bored of your girlfriend and want to sleep around. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with your girlfriend – it simply means that we are all a little slutty by nature. And I say that in the nicest way possible.

Now, in case you’re quite fond of your girlfriend and don’t want to break up with her just because you’re bored of having sex with her, there are certain things you can do to keep the spark alive. 

For instance, you can introduce novelty to the bedroom by means of sex toys, some light (or intense) BDSM, or role play. But if you’ve already tried all of these and you’re still bored, I don’t know how to help you. 

And in case sex toys and bondage don’t seem like your cup of tea, you can try out consensual nonmonogamy, where you literally have sex with other people, but you gently let your girlfriend know you’re sleeping with others, and vice versa. It’s not for everyone, but some couples find a way to make this arrangement work.

You can also have sex with other people to relieve your sexual boredom and not tell your girlfriend. That is also an option. But if that sounds like cheating, it’s because it is. I would advise against doing that, because it’s generally frowned upon to cheat on your significant other. 

H/T: Lehmiller

Maxim

The Lawyer for Aaron Hernandez’s Alleged Prison Boyfriend Won’t Confirm ‘Extent’ of Relationship

Getty Images

Aaron Hernandez and Kyle Kennedy, his alleged prison lover, were “close friends” who “spent a great deal of time together in prison,” the lawyer for the 22-year-old inmate said at a press conference Wednesday. He would not elaborate further, but said Kennedy himself would address the “nature and the extent” of their relationship in the near future.

“He wants those words to come out of his mouth,” lawyer Lawrence Army Jr. said.

Army’s comments come as new details emerge suggesting that Hernandez and Kennedy were more than prison pals. Among them is the revelation that Hernandez tried to get prison officials to allow Kennedy to move into his cell. The former Patriots tight end was living alone in a cell made for two and tried to have Kennedy transferred.

Kyle Kennedy. Credit: UXBRIDGE POLICE DEPARTMENT

Prison officials initially granted the request, but walked it back because of the size difference between the two men, Army said Wednesday.

The lawyer also addressed the matter of the suicide letter that was addressed to Kennedy. He said neither he nor Kennedy have seen it, but he’s working to change that. “We will be requesting that the letter be turned over to my client as soon as possible,” he said.

The letter was one of three found in Hernandez’s cell after his suicide. The other two were addressed to the 27-year-old’s fiancé and daughter. 

Army revealed at Wednesday’s press conference that Hernandez frequently wrote letters to Kennedy’s family. He shared a line from one letter that referred to Kennedy as his “brother” and shared an image of another. It was written to Kennedy’s step sister and was signed, “Your friend, Aaron.” 

Maxim

Impact of Social Processes in Online Health Communities on Patient Empowerment in Relationship With the Physician: Emergence of Functional and Dysfunctional Empowerment

Background: Substantial research demonstrates the importance of online health communities (OHCs) for patient empowerment, although the impact on the patient-physician relationship is understudied. Patient empowerment also occurs in relationship with the physician, but studies of OHCs mostly disregard this. The question also remains about the nature and consequences of this empowerment, as it might be based on the limited validity of some information in OHCs. Objective: The main purpose of this study was to examine the impact of social processes in OHCs (information exchange with users and health professional moderators, social support, finding meaning, and self-expressing) on functional and dysfunctional patient empowerment in relationship with the physician (PERP). This impact was investigated by taking into account moderating role of eHealth literacy and physician’s paternalism. Method: An email list–based Web survey on a simple random sample of 25,000 registered users of the most popular general OHC in Slovenia was conducted. A total of 1572 respondents completed the survey. The analyses were conducted on a subsample of 591 regular users, who had visited a physician at least once in the past 2 years. To estimate the impact of social processes in OHC on functional and dysfunctional PERP, we performed a series of hierarchical regression analyses. To determine the moderating role of eHealth literacy and the perceived physician characteristics, interactions were included in the regression analyses. Results: The mean age of the respondents in the sample was 37.6 years (SD 10.3) and 83.3% were females. Factor analyses of the PERP revealed a five-factor structure with acceptable fit (root-mean-square error of approximation =.06). Most important results are that functional self-efficacy is positively predicted by information exchange with health professional moderators (beta=.12, P=.02), information exchange with users (beta=.12, P=.05), and giving social support (beta=.13, P=.02), but negatively predicted with receiving social support (beta=−.21, P<.001). Functional control is also predicted by information exchange with health professional moderators (beta=.16, P=.005). Dysfunctional control and competence are inhibited by information exchanges with health professionals (beta=−.12, P=.03), whereas dysfunctional self-efficacy is inhibited by self-expressing (beta=−.12, P=.05). The process of finding meaning likely leads to the development of dysfunctional competences and control if the physician is perceived to be paternalistic (beta=.14, P=.03). Under the condition of high eHealth literacy, the process of finding meaning will inhibit the development of dysfunctional competences and control (beta=−.17, P=.01). Conclusions: Social processes in OHCs do not have a uniform impact on PERP. This impact is moderated by eHealth literacy and physician paternalism. Exchanging information with health professional moderators in OHCs is the most important factor for stimulating functional PERP as well as diminishing dysfunctional PERP. Social support in OHCs plays an ambiguous role, often making patients behave in a strategic, uncooperative way toward physicians. Journal of Medical Internet Research

Exploring the Relationship Between Online Social Network Site Usage and the Impact on Quality of Life for Older and Younger Users: An Interaction Analysis

Background: Analyzing content generated by users of social network sites has been shown to be beneficial across a number of disciplines. Such analysis has revealed the precise behavior of users that details their distinct patterns of engagement. An issue is evident whereby without direct engagement with end users, the reasoning for anomalies can only be the subject of conjecture. Furthermore, the impact of engaging in social network sites on quality of life is an area which has received little attention. Of particular interest is the impact of online social networking on older users, which is a demographic that is specifically vulnerable to social isolation. A review of the literature reveals a lack of knowledge concerning the impact of these technologies on such users and even less is known regarding how this impact varies across different demographics. Objective: The objective of our study was to analyze user interactions and to survey the attitudes of social network users directly, capturing data in four key areas: (1) functional usage, (2) behavioral patterns, (3) technology, and (4) quality of life. Methods: An online survey was constructed, comprising 32 questions. Each question directly related to a research question. Respondents were recruited through a variety of methods including email campaigns, Facebook advertisements, and promotion from related organizations. Results: In total, data was collected from 919 users containing 446 younger and 473 older users. In comparison to younger users, a greater proportion of older users (289/473, 61.1% older vs 218/446, 48.9% younger) (P<.001) stated that Facebook had either a positive or huge impact on their quality of life. Furthermore, a greater percentage of older users strongly agreed that Facebook strengthened their relationship with other people (64/473, 13.5% older vs 40/446, 9.0%younger) (P=.02). In comparison to younger users, a greater proportion of older users had more positive emotions—classified as slightly better or very good—during their engagement with Facebook (186/473, 39.3% older vs 120/446, 26.9% younger) (P<.001). Conclusions: The results reveal that despite engaging at considerably lower rates with significantly fewer connections, older users gain a greater quality-of-life benefit. Results disclose how both cohorts vary in their use, interactions, and rationale for engaging with Facebook. Journal of Medical Internet Research