A new tradition has emerged this time each year. As former college football players become millionaires at the NFL Draft, sports fans search through their old tweets to find embarrassing shit they said before they were famous.
It’s one of the best parts of a ceremony that has become largely choreographed and at last night’s draft in Philly, the old tweets from these newly-minted NFL players did not disappoint.
These are some top notch posts from draftees. The only problem we have here is that no one made these dudes delete this nonsense before it became public. Of course, we’re glad they didn’t.
No. 2 pick to the Chicago Bears, Mitch Trubisky
No. 8 pick to the Carolina Panthers, Christian McCaffrey
No. 17 pick to the Washington Redskins, Jonathan Allen
Good effort by all of these dudes, who tweeted this nonsense when they were young and dumb and no one cared. And hey, at least they can rest easy knowing they never wrote anything like Geronimo Allison, the Packers wide out whose NSFW tweets surfaced last year after he was signed as a free agent.
The terrorists who make up the jihadi army of ISIS probably think of themselves as serious badasses, but they have nothing on the heartless brutality of nature.
In this case, three ISIS militants possibly waiting to ambush their enemies reportedly ended up on the wrong end of the tusks of some angry wild boars.
Kurds battling ISIS in outside Kirkuk in Iraq reported the incident. According to the Telegraph, refugees attempting to run from the continued fighting found the dead bodies of the ISIS fighters.
According to the Telegraph, an Iraqi news site reported that “militants took revenge at the pigs” for the deaths.
Kurdish Intelligence Brigadier Azad Jelal told the Telegraph that the jihadis “met some feral boars and the boars killed” them, but he did mention another reason the men may have been in hiding. Rather than possibly attempting ambush the Kurds, Jelal said they may have been attempting to defect from ISIS instead, as they were near a Kurdish checkpoint.
In spite of the efforts of coalition forces, Kurds, and the wild boars, ISIS still maintains control over areas near Kirkuk. Baghdad plans to take aim at these remaining strongholds after they finally completely drive ISIS out of Mosul.
Maybe they need more wild boars. And, of course, MOABs.
That last part didn’t actually happen. But a new video posted to YouTube, titled “Episode I: The Phantom Nothing,” places sound effects from the ’90s sitcom “about nothing” into that definitive saber-showdown between Obi Wan, Qui Gon Ginn and Darth Maul.
Because why the hell not?
This is not the first time Seinfeld has unexpectedly appeared in an iconic franchise. Another viral video placed clips of Jerry Seinfeld driving a car into some car-chase sequences from Fast and Furious.
A downright sinful, albeit hilarious, trailer for the film just dropped, and the Catholic backlash is imminent.
Production company Gunpowder & Sky offered the following synopsis:
Medieval nuns Alessandra (Alison Brie), Fernanda (Aubrey Plaza), and Ginevra (Kate Micucci) lead a simple life in their convent. Their days are spent chafing at monastic routine, spying on one another, and berating the estate’s day laborer. After a particularly vicious insult session drives the peasant away, Father Tommasso (John C. Reilly) brings on new hired hand Massetto (Dave Franco), a virile young servant forced into hiding by his angry lord. Introduced to the sisters as a deaf-mute to discourage temptation, Massetto struggles to maintain his cover as the repressed nunnery erupts in a whirlwind of pansexual horniness, substance abuse, and wicked revelry.
Nick Offerman also stars as a medieval lord, and Fred Armisen plays a priest. Very wicked stuff, indeed.
The Little Hours hits theaters on June 30. Be prepared to head to confession afterwards.
On Sunday night, with the Celtics seconds away from dropping game one of their first round playoff series with the Bulls, the TNT cameras turned to a sullen adolescent dressed in green. In one word, he conveyed the emotion of every green-clad C’s fan in the arena.
Now the kid’s all over the internet. His silent F-bomb has gone viral and this seems like as good a time as any to remind him, and all other young sports fans, to get to this feeling.
Life is, as he will soon find out, full of disappointment. And life as a sports fan is even worse.
Sure, being a sports fan is fun. It’s one of the most consuming diversions from real-life that modern society has designed. But it’s almost sure to cause disappointment. Let’s use the NBA as an example.
Every year the fanbases of 29 teams begin the season thinking they have a chance of doing something historic. (Nets fans, know better.) And every year, the fans of all but one team end their seasons the same way this kid ended yesterday’s game— with a hearty “FUCK.”
But there’s a reason people subject themselves to this almost-guaranteed disappointment. Whatever pain brought upon by the failure of your favorite team is dwarfed by the disappointment of real life.
There will one day be no better illustration of this than this kid himself. Imagine him, 30 years from now, telling people about the time he went viral for saying “FUCK” and showing them these tweets.
Wild turkeys might seem like easy pickings for a gun-toting hunter, but things can get complicated when your bird hunt is interrupted by a vicious wild cat that wants to maul your damn face off.
That’s how it went down for a Virginia hunter who captured the Youtube clip above. While out hunting turkeys, he suddenly found himself in an intense stare-down with a seriously pissed-off bobcat.
Initially, the feral feline looks to be merely inspecting the guy who’s trampling around the cat’s turf.
But the dynamic shifts as the bobcat moves in closer to the camera, twitches its tail, and leaps on the two-legged interloper, sending the hunter fleeing for safety–quite possibly with a fresh load in his pants.
A full-grown bobcat tips the scales at just 30 to 40 pounds, so you might think that they’d have their work cut out for them if one were to attack a grown-ass man. However, these ill-tempered bastards have been known to kill animals as big as deer when they’re desperate for food.
Bottom line: you do not want to fuck with them. Here’s some more proof: